I feel resentful about my Bridesmaid being pregnant

"I'm the Groom but i've got a dilemma non the less. I'm struggling not to feel resentful towards our pregnant bridesmaid, and it's the only thing my partner and I have clashed on. Am I in the wrong for feeling angry?"

I'm going to be really honest with you here, because I think it's the kindest thing I can do.

I think you're centring yourself in someone else's life-changing moment a little too much. And I say that gently, because I do understand where it's coming from. Weddings are emotional, expensive, stressful, and when someone's energy shifts around yours, it can feel personal in a way that's hard to shake.

You're absolutely allowed to feel disappointed. That part is real and it's valid.

But this is the bit that's worth sitting with. People don't plan pregnancies around bridesmaid dresses, hotel rooms and hen dos. That's just not how life works. And the expectation, even a quiet one, that she should have somehow timed her family planning to suit your wedding, that's where I think this crosses a line.

The comments about her being "grumpy" also sit a little uncomfortably with me. She's heavily pregnant and due to give birth days after your wedding. Pregnancy is exhausting, physically, emotionally, socially. She's probably navigating an enormous amount internally while also trying really hard not to let you down.

And the holiday thing, I get it. From the outside, it stings. But pregnancy isn't always logical or consistent. A hen do abroad might have felt overwhelming in a way a slower trip with her partner didn't. Those aren't really decisions about you. They're decisions about what she can manage right now, and what feels important before the baby arrives.

So I think the real question here isn't about the dress or the deposits or the room. It's this. What do you actually want your friendship to feel like after the wedding?

Because right now, you've got two paths in front of you.

You can stay angry about the money and the inconvenience. Or you can zoom out and really see what's happening, which is that one of your closest friends is about to become a mother.

Sell the dress. Bless the baby. Let the room go if you have to. Focus on what you can actually control, and let the rest soften.

Because in five years' time, I genuinely don't think you'll care about the hair and makeup deposit. What you'll remember is how you showed up for her in this season. Whether you met it with generosity, or with resentment.

That's the bit that lingers. Not the wedding. The pattern of how you love your people through the big stuff.